I think I'm on the edge of breaking down...
Did something really horrible to an important friend
I shouldn't have done so...
I should have considered her feelings for...I shouldn't let anger and disappointment to cloud my judgment....I shouldn't have been so impulsive
Now I have ruined everything...
I think everything will be different from now on and it's me who made it that way...
It's my fault and I can blame no one...
Stupid.
Hate myself for this
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
也许，你并不知道我在等你
我问，怎样才能让一个人知道你在想他？
你说，心里不停地默念他的名字， 他就能感受到。
可我一直在心底重复着你的名字，你却一直没有音信。
也许，你并不知道我在等你。
我问，当你在等一个人的短信 时，你是会调成静音模式还是户外模式？
你说，静音。这样，发现短信来到 的时候就会充满惊喜。
于是我调了静音，于是我马上就后悔。我一直在看手 机，我觉得自己有些强迫症了，每一次屏幕亮起的瞬间，我的一颗心就也跟着亮了起来，这感觉，那样美好，那样心碎。
也许，你并不知道我在等你。
我问，你忙吗？在干嘛？吃了吗？
你一一回答，不忙，看书，没吃。
可 我却发现自己笨笨地不知该再说些什么，再说什么都是多余，再说什么都只会让人厌烦。
你生活在一个可以没有我的世界，我居住在一个只有你的天空。
所 以，我注定是个失败的人。
可是，为什么聪明的你不能帮我想一想，我还可 以和你说什么，我还能为你做什么？
可是，为什么不忙的你不能试着回一些 疑问句，让我们的对话更长？
可是，为什么你从没有这样的时候，这样想念 着我，想念着一个一直在等你的人？
也许，你并不知道我在等你。
我什么也没问出口，可这不代表我的草稿箱里什么都没有。
我 一直在写，一直在删，一直在改。偶尔一两条，又会在发出之前的最后一秒被转入草稿箱。可纵使是这样的严格筛选，我还是不知不觉攒下了许多草稿，那许许多多 的字里行间，其实只有三个字：我想你。
但你却问，还说我没有发，你不 是一样没有音信？
我说，因为害怕打扰到你。
其实，我只是想等你主动发一次，让我相信，其实，你也很想念我。但事实却让我始 终相信，也许，你并不知道我在等你。
我在挂qq，我总喜欢只打开你的分组，每一次，都能轻而易举看到你。
每一次咚咚的敲门声后，我就会看看你，可你一直黑着一张臭脸，好像在生我的气。
偶尔亮起来都不会动一动，总要我先向你问好。
你怎么总是这么大的架子，这么大的谱，这么大的把握我一定会问好？
你总是“马上就要下了”，“你也快点下吧”，“我们都早点下吧”，我们又不是母 鸡，为什么总赶着投胎一样要下啊？
我等了那么久才等来你的一句话，根本 还没把本儿说回来你就要下了……
我想，也许，你并不知道我在等你。
我的天空今天有点灰，我想你，想你，好想你。
不停揣测你 心里，可曾有，我的姓名。
才发现，原来，你真的不知道我在等你。
你说，心里不停地默念他的名字， 他就能感受到。
可我一直在心底重复着你的名字，你却一直没有音信。
也许，你并不知道我在等你。
我问，当你在等一个人的短信 时，你是会调成静音模式还是户外模式？
你说，静音。这样，发现短信来到 的时候就会充满惊喜。
于是我调了静音，于是我马上就后悔。我一直在看手 机，我觉得自己有些强迫症了，每一次屏幕亮起的瞬间，我的一颗心就也跟着亮了起来，这感觉，那样美好，那样心碎。
也许，你并不知道我在等你。
我问，你忙吗？在干嘛？吃了吗？
你一一回答，不忙，看书，没吃。
可 我却发现自己笨笨地不知该再说些什么，再说什么都是多余，再说什么都只会让人厌烦。
你生活在一个可以没有我的世界，我居住在一个只有你的天空。
所 以，我注定是个失败的人。
可是，为什么聪明的你不能帮我想一想，我还可 以和你说什么，我还能为你做什么？
可是，为什么不忙的你不能试着回一些 疑问句，让我们的对话更长？
可是，为什么你从没有这样的时候，这样想念 着我，想念着一个一直在等你的人？
也许，你并不知道我在等你。
我什么也没问出口，可这不代表我的草稿箱里什么都没有。
我 一直在写，一直在删，一直在改。偶尔一两条，又会在发出之前的最后一秒被转入草稿箱。可纵使是这样的严格筛选，我还是不知不觉攒下了许多草稿，那许许多多 的字里行间，其实只有三个字：我想你。
但你却问，还说我没有发，你不 是一样没有音信？
我说，因为害怕打扰到你。
其实，我只是想等你主动发一次，让我相信，其实，你也很想念我。但事实却让我始 终相信，也许，你并不知道我在等你。
我在挂qq，我总喜欢只打开你的分组，每一次，都能轻而易举看到你。
每一次咚咚的敲门声后，我就会看看你，可你一直黑着一张臭脸，好像在生我的气。
偶尔亮起来都不会动一动，总要我先向你问好。
你怎么总是这么大的架子，这么大的谱，这么大的把握我一定会问好？
你总是“马上就要下了”，“你也快点下吧”，“我们都早点下吧”，我们又不是母 鸡，为什么总赶着投胎一样要下啊？
我等了那么久才等来你的一句话，根本 还没把本儿说回来你就要下了……
我想，也许，你并不知道我在等你。
我的天空今天有点灰，我想你，想你，好想你。
不停揣测你 心里，可曾有，我的姓名。
才发现，原来，你真的不知道我在等你。
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Conflicted...
It's been a while, around two weeks I think, since I last updated. As usual, there are tons of works waiting to be done so I don't really have the mood to update anything. The good news is, Mr. Yap, the thesis lecturer/tutor is on a holiday leave to somewhere far away and we have fun not being stressed by thesis. The bad news? He's coming back this wednesday and we will have our first thesis presentation this friday. Wonderful....
Something happened the last weekend. And that something struck through the barrier surrounding my heart...it was rather painful. I thought I have gotten over it. I thought it is no longer relevant to me. I was right. It is very much important to me...
And then the whole week...it was like a nightmare slowly turning into a very sweet dream, but very unreal. I know I'm still dreaming, and I also know that I should wake up. But I can't control it. I just hope I'm strong enough to face it when the dream turns into a nightmare...or a void.
Sorry for the cryptic message...well, I just want to write this to remind myself...
Conflicted...
Something happened the last weekend. And that something struck through the barrier surrounding my heart...it was rather painful. I thought I have gotten over it. I thought it is no longer relevant to me. I was right. It is very much important to me...
And then the whole week...it was like a nightmare slowly turning into a very sweet dream, but very unreal. I know I'm still dreaming, and I also know that I should wake up. But I can't control it. I just hope I'm strong enough to face it when the dream turns into a nightmare...or a void.
Sorry for the cryptic message...well, I just want to write this to remind myself...
Conflicted...
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Marathon Week~
Yeah!
Rush homeworks!
Rush for mid terms!
Rush for assignments!
WTH!? We have so much time to do all these meh? I don't even have the proper time to write blog....
So far AAP assignment is settled (remaining the test), Tax in progress (test coming too), never ending Thesis....Marketing test settled (I get 35/40! :D), with the assignment slowly completing...
Thank God the E-Commerce is over, both test and assignment. It's a solo job for me, I guess it's fair since I depend on them to do the AAP. I think the presentation goes well too. Hehe. I like presentation ^^
Hehe. I look good. Very seldomly I can get cool pic of myself ^^
Well done. Off to another busy week!!!
Rush homeworks!
Rush for mid terms!
Rush for assignments!
WTH!? We have so much time to do all these meh? I don't even have the proper time to write blog....
So far AAP assignment is settled (remaining the test), Tax in progress (test coming too), never ending Thesis....Marketing test settled (I get 35/40! :D), with the assignment slowly completing...
Thank God the E-Commerce is over, both test and assignment. It's a solo job for me, I guess it's fair since I depend on them to do the AAP. I think the presentation goes well too. Hehe. I like presentation ^^
Hehe. I look good. Very seldomly I can get cool pic of myself ^^
Well done. Off to another busy week!!!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Mirror Universe
"It doesn't matter..."
Ever wonder how would you be in another? Ever wonder what would happen if you choose the answer A instead of B? Some smart guys with a lot of time to think and talk come out with with some theories that say for every action taken or not taken, a new parallel world is created. So, there's like, infinite number of Earth...
That's the basis concept of this direct to dvd movie,
Justice League: Crisis On Two Earths
You do know who is the Justice League right? Composed of DC Comic's best heroes, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman etc. They are the big guns that deal with big problems. So in this movie, they must help Lex Luthor (Superman's nemesis) from alternate earth to his home world, where everything is reversed. That's right, time for EVIL!Justice League. Or, you can just call them the Crime Syndicate.
I have limited knowledge on DC Superheroes except Batman of course, but at least I know who's who. This movie was very entertaining. I mean, who are not tempted to see superheroes fighting against their evil counterparts, or even seeing the "good" supervillain defending justice etc.
The animation quality and character design are pretty good. Characters move fluently and the battles are exciting. Voice acting is good. Some are great in their role, but some not so much. Batman is particularly disappointing. His voice is not so menacing nor commanding. A bit of the let down. At least the actor get the Batman's badass line near the end.
"We both looked into the abyss, and when it looked back at us, you blinked..."
Pure badassness!!!! It's the Goddamn Batman!!!
Since Batman is so awesome, his evil counterpart must be as well. Owlman is one interesting villain, particularly his view on the world and life itself. He views it as meaningless, as every actions we took, another us on another Earth won't take it, so in essence, everything is meaningless. It doesn't matter. Interesting thoughts actually...
So I would recommend this movie for some good old superhero brawling and keep you oentertained for around 70 minutes. Where to get this movie you ask? You know the drill ^^
Sadly, my weekends have come to an end. That's fast. Now another busy week to go. Gambateh!!!
Ever wonder how would you be in another? Ever wonder what would happen if you choose the answer A instead of B? Some smart guys with a lot of time to think and talk come out with with some theories that say for every action taken or not taken, a new parallel world is created. So, there's like, infinite number of Earth...
That's the basis concept of this direct to dvd movie,
Justice League: Crisis On Two Earths
You do know who is the Justice League right? Composed of DC Comic's best heroes, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman etc. They are the big guns that deal with big problems. So in this movie, they must help Lex Luthor (Superman's nemesis) from alternate earth to his home world, where everything is reversed. That's right, time for EVIL!Justice League. Or, you can just call them the Crime Syndicate.
I have limited knowledge on DC Superheroes except Batman of course, but at least I know who's who. This movie was very entertaining. I mean, who are not tempted to see superheroes fighting against their evil counterparts, or even seeing the "good" supervillain defending justice etc.
The animation quality and character design are pretty good. Characters move fluently and the battles are exciting. Voice acting is good. Some are great in their role, but some not so much. Batman is particularly disappointing. His voice is not so menacing nor commanding. A bit of the let down. At least the actor get the Batman's badass line near the end.
"We both looked into the abyss, and when it looked back at us, you blinked..."
Pure badassness!!!! It's the Goddamn Batman!!!
Since Batman is so awesome, his evil counterpart must be as well. Owlman is one interesting villain, particularly his view on the world and life itself. He views it as meaningless, as every actions we took, another us on another Earth won't take it, so in essence, everything is meaningless. It doesn't matter. Interesting thoughts actually...
So I would recommend this movie for some good old superhero brawling and keep you oentertained for around 70 minutes. Where to get this movie you ask? You know the drill ^^
Sadly, my weekends have come to an end. That's fast. Now another busy week to go. Gambateh!!!
Friday, March 5, 2010
Thank God It's Friday!
No, no that other Friday which is involved in food. I mean it literally. Thank God it is Friday!
The whole week had been pretty hard on all of us. Full of things to do, assignments, homeworks, theses, presentation and others. It's like every subject you at least have some works to do. The whole week really burnt us out!
Forgive my repetitiveness, but thank God it's Friday again! The weekends will allow us to get some well deserved rest. But that's not saying much. We still have tons of works to do. Let's see, Monday need to submit AAP assignments, homeworks, theses methodology paper or something, and there's a mid term test for E-Commerce the next day. Scary schedule~
Speaking of Friday, we finally attended our third dreaded Miss Theresa's Advanced Taxation tutorial class, after missing many of the class thanks to conveniently placed CNY and public holidays. So we all attended the class and prepared to be "shot". Surprisingly, she was quite "normal" today. I learned quite a lot from the class, I think that's got to do with the answers already posted up the web, so we don't have to randomly present using our wrong answers!
Unfortunately, the normality didn't last wrong and she reverted back to her usual self when the class ended. A classmate tried to ask something and she just blew her away. Rather rude if you ask me.
Enough of the stupid Theresa, the less said, the better.
Anyway, following my usual Friday schedule, I went for a jog this evening (the sky was dark and it rained after I finished my jog. Big surprise). I couldn't jog for a long time, my leg got tired and muscle pain. I guess tomorrow I will rest for a day without jogging. Probably my body telling me to rest and don't overwork myself.
OK. Ready for some good news? Heh.
I WON!!!!!!!!!!
My gamble luck was rather good today. We played the usual 8/9 and Black Jack. I did the dealer for a while and ended up winning a considerate amount of money, filling my Bumblebee head and needing another extra container for the remaining balance! For once, I actually won~!!!
Let's hope I won't lose too badly next time ^^
The whole week had been pretty hard on all of us. Full of things to do, assignments, homeworks, theses, presentation and others. It's like every subject you at least have some works to do. The whole week really burnt us out!
Forgive my repetitiveness, but thank God it's Friday again! The weekends will allow us to get some well deserved rest. But that's not saying much. We still have tons of works to do. Let's see, Monday need to submit AAP assignments, homeworks, theses methodology paper or something, and there's a mid term test for E-Commerce the next day. Scary schedule~
Speaking of Friday, we finally attended our third dreaded Miss Theresa's Advanced Taxation tutorial class, after missing many of the class thanks to conveniently placed CNY and public holidays. So we all attended the class and prepared to be "shot". Surprisingly, she was quite "normal" today. I learned quite a lot from the class, I think that's got to do with the answers already posted up the web, so we don't have to randomly present using our wrong answers!
Unfortunately, the normality didn't last wrong and she reverted back to her usual self when the class ended. A classmate tried to ask something and she just blew her away. Rather rude if you ask me.
Enough of the stupid Theresa, the less said, the better.
Anyway, following my usual Friday schedule, I went for a jog this evening (the sky was dark and it rained after I finished my jog. Big surprise). I couldn't jog for a long time, my leg got tired and muscle pain. I guess tomorrow I will rest for a day without jogging. Probably my body telling me to rest and don't overwork myself.
OK. Ready for some good news? Heh.
I WON!!!!!!!!!!
My gamble luck was rather good today. We played the usual 8/9 and Black Jack. I did the dealer for a while and ended up winning a considerate amount of money, filling my Bumblebee head and needing another extra container for the remaining balance! For once, I actually won~!!!
Let's hope I won't lose too badly next time ^^
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Something between jogging and raining...
Riddle me this: When you will get wet and sweaty and cold and hot?
The answer is going for jogging in Kampar.
Ugghh, the weather is really demotivating to my jogging and slimming plans. It's as though as the God is trying to stop or something. When I'm not free and running around the campus, the weather is always extremely hot.
So, naturally, when I want to realize my diet plan and go for a jog in the Westlake garden, the sky always turn dark and always rain. Really geram la!!!
Today I went to jog again and it rained. Not really surprise as once I arrived in the park, I saw the town with heavy dark cloud. A sight of raining. Luckily I jogged for around 20 minutes before it rained...
It is times like this that I wish I have a treadmill at home...T.T
The answer is going for jogging in Kampar.
Ugghh, the weather is really demotivating to my jogging and slimming plans. It's as though as the God is trying to stop or something. When I'm not free and running around the campus, the weather is always extremely hot.
So, naturally, when I want to realize my diet plan and go for a jog in the Westlake garden, the sky always turn dark and always rain. Really geram la!!!
Today I went to jog again and it rained. Not really surprise as once I arrived in the park, I saw the town with heavy dark cloud. A sight of raining. Luckily I jogged for around 20 minutes before it rained...
It is times like this that I wish I have a treadmill at home...T.T
Monday, March 1, 2010
All of these are so not worth it
Just need to write down something, if not, I feel like I'm gonna explode.
I'm just tired of all of it, that's all. Assignment this, test that and everything.
I had Marketing test this morning. It was easier than anticipated. But that was not the point. The point is that I spent my Sunday on completing the theses theory review instead of studying until there was not much time left to study.
Why do it myself you ask? How about no one else seems to care? Everyone was so busy with their studies that no one bothered to do something about it. Left to me again...as a result, I finished the review in around 1am and not much time left for my Marketing revision. I'm lucky to be alive.
I just feel that I don't get the thanks I'm entitled too. Hey, I'm not overestimating my own capability. But since I manage to finish the review, how about a thank you? No, no nothing. It's the same as doing class rep. No gratitude from others. No Thank You. It's the same as printing notes for other people. No Thank You. And I can't even get back the full money that I paid for the photostating.
Just now the lecturer asked about some key terms in our theory review. I tried to explain but the others kept on saying the contracting points, even though they didn't even read the articles. And somehow, for some reasons, it ends up like it's my fault for trying to tell them to stop explaining the wrong terms and trying to explain myself.
This is the thanks I get? Cool
All of these are so not worth it
I'm just tired of all of it, that's all. Assignment this, test that and everything.
I had Marketing test this morning. It was easier than anticipated. But that was not the point. The point is that I spent my Sunday on completing the theses theory review instead of studying until there was not much time left to study.
Why do it myself you ask? How about no one else seems to care? Everyone was so busy with their studies that no one bothered to do something about it. Left to me again...as a result, I finished the review in around 1am and not much time left for my Marketing revision. I'm lucky to be alive.
I just feel that I don't get the thanks I'm entitled too. Hey, I'm not overestimating my own capability. But since I manage to finish the review, how about a thank you? No, no nothing. It's the same as doing class rep. No gratitude from others. No Thank You. It's the same as printing notes for other people. No Thank You. And I can't even get back the full money that I paid for the photostating.
Just now the lecturer asked about some key terms in our theory review. I tried to explain but the others kept on saying the contracting points, even though they didn't even read the articles. And somehow, for some reasons, it ends up like it's my fault for trying to tell them to stop explaining the wrong terms and trying to explain myself.
This is the thanks I get? Cool
All of these are so not worth it
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Overwhelming Odds
I never thought I'm going to sign in again and update my blog, but I need some outlet. I have some serious frustration to vent!
Year 3 Sem 1, this is potentially the last year of my study life. As usual, I come into every sem, promising to myself that I will work harder. In a way, I actually did. If I didn't, I can't see myself surviving past this.
The third and final year is so much tougher than anything I have ever faced before. We have 5 subjects, 2 of them (E Commerce and Marketing) is the usual theory type (translation: my favorite type of subjects), but it's the other 3 that is the big problem.
Research/Theses. This is what we have been afraid of since last year. It is the year long project that contributes to a big part of our final CGPA. After narrowly avoiding an in-fighting of the class, groups are formed and works are carried out. Man, there are a lot of things to do for this subject. From searching for articles, writing reviews, meeting the supervisors. Damn troublesome. What's even more troublesome is when apparently your group members do nothing or are too slow to catch up, leaving all the rest to you!!!
Then there's Advanced Accounting Practice and Advanced Taxation. The lecturer...Miss Theresa. She's so damn stupid and useless. Lectures are so boring and the notes are so badly done that we have to print out two copies since she always updates it after finishing the lecture. And the tutorial part is even worst. She wants us to present taxation in class. Hello? The reason we come to school is to learn how to count from lecturers. If other students can teach us, what for we come here? I don't even want to imagine how to survive past these two subjects, especially taxation.
This is frustrating. Too much works to do...And the sky always turn dark whenever I want to go jogging!
ARRRRRGHHHH!!!!!
Year 3 Sem 1, this is potentially the last year of my study life. As usual, I come into every sem, promising to myself that I will work harder. In a way, I actually did. If I didn't, I can't see myself surviving past this.
The third and final year is so much tougher than anything I have ever faced before. We have 5 subjects, 2 of them (E Commerce and Marketing) is the usual theory type (translation: my favorite type of subjects), but it's the other 3 that is the big problem.
Research/Theses. This is what we have been afraid of since last year. It is the year long project that contributes to a big part of our final CGPA. After narrowly avoiding an in-fighting of the class, groups are formed and works are carried out. Man, there are a lot of things to do for this subject. From searching for articles, writing reviews, meeting the supervisors. Damn troublesome. What's even more troublesome is when apparently your group members do nothing or are too slow to catch up, leaving all the rest to you!!!
Then there's Advanced Accounting Practice and Advanced Taxation. The lecturer...Miss Theresa. She's so damn stupid and useless. Lectures are so boring and the notes are so badly done that we have to print out two copies since she always updates it after finishing the lecture. And the tutorial part is even worst. She wants us to present taxation in class. Hello? The reason we come to school is to learn how to count from lecturers. If other students can teach us, what for we come here? I don't even want to imagine how to survive past these two subjects, especially taxation.
This is frustrating. Too much works to do...And the sky always turn dark whenever I want to go jogging!
ARRRRRGHHHH!!!!!
Monday, January 4, 2010
2010, A New Decade
Ugghh...my laziness struck again!
I had so many plans. Planned to write more about KL trip and more about new year resolution...but then, this blog is not named A Lazy Guy's Blog for nothing!
The trip to KL/Subang Jaya was nice. The best of the best was to able to taste a lot of nice food. Vietnam cuisine, Dim Sum, buffet etc...man, I want to be rich ^^
We also visited 1 Utama, Subang Parade and some other shopping complexes. 1 Utama is extremely huge, walked till leg wan patah...too bad there seems to be no toy shop there. I came home almost empty handed...
Here goes 201. A brand new year...I certainly hope it will be great and eventful...better than 2009 at least. And my new year resolution is definitely keep fit...
And a gf :D
I had so many plans. Planned to write more about KL trip and more about new year resolution...but then, this blog is not named A Lazy Guy's Blog for nothing!
The trip to KL/Subang Jaya was nice. The best of the best was to able to taste a lot of nice food. Vietnam cuisine, Dim Sum, buffet etc...man, I want to be rich ^^
We also visited 1 Utama, Subang Parade and some other shopping complexes. 1 Utama is extremely huge, walked till leg wan patah...too bad there seems to be no toy shop there. I came home almost empty handed...
Here goes 201. A brand new year...I certainly hope it will be great and eventful...better than 2009 at least. And my new year resolution is definitely keep fit...
And a gf :D
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